Dogs, as Man’s Best friend

Question. Are South African dogs in Cape Town’s forests not used to black people?

This of course is a rather loaded and unusual question, one I have concluded is worth asking. For the longest time now, I have been making assumptions, statements (sometimes misguided by my anger and fear) and declarations about the behaviour of some of the dogs and dog owners I have had the (dis) pleasure of encountering on my walks at the forest.

Generally I visit the forest with my family (husband and son) and whenever an incident occurs where one of the ‘friendly’ dogs pounces on our two year old, I have found that its not so much the petrified, hysterical child that the dog owner’s seem concerned about, as much as it is the dog.

The standard response to this affront is usually a long explanation of how the dog means no harm, and how it just wants to play and will definitely not harm the child. Now this may be true to a greater or lesser extent, however, I have found that it fails to pacify my unsuspecting little boy who is often daunted by these ‘friendly gestures’.

Being the two year old that he is, it is hardly expected of him to understand why that ‘haaw haaw’ is barking at him and about to attack him. Granted I am not a two year old and can therefore not speak on his behalf, nevertheless I am still present during these moments and am familiar with being on the receiving end of such barks.

It irks me to have to feel threatened in a space that is supposed to accommodate all sorts of people whether young or old, man or woman, black or white.

Having lived in this country for the last eight and twenty years, I am pretty familiar with the mentality of the people of this country, I am deeply aware of the historical background that is the back drop of our daily living. I, as the educated, and I dare say open minded individual, try not to make everything about race. Try, being the operative word. Yet experience has led me to questions that I would rather not ask, and you would rather not hear.

IS IT COZ I’M BLACK?

Yes, that’s right, I have finally plucked up the courage, thrown caution to the winds and asked the much avoided question relating to the racial aspect of my problem.

Why would I ask such a question and imply such accusations? Well, I wonder, perhaps its because on two occasions while breaking bread with my husband (incidentally white hubby) amidst the beautiful flowers, streams and trees, I have had the pleasure of having a dog come up from behind us and proceed to bark at me like I stole something. What is up with that?

Are these dogs trained to sniff out the black, or is it just me having my own private fears playing out in public spaces? If indeed it is not the dog owner’s fault, and I am reacting to my own issues, then the question would be, why would I be afraid of ‘friendly’ dogs?

Not just myself, but why would my brother, my friends and most probably a number of other people I may not know but are of the darker hue, be afraid of harmless dogs?

Are we mad?

If a dog comes charging at you at lightening speed, barking incessantly, and promising to get physical, would any one be faulted for thinking that they are at risk of being attacked?

Answer. No, threatened I do feel and so does my son, mainly because, I have experienced this to happen to us and not so much to other visitors at this particular forest. Not that I am spending my time noting who gets barked at and who doesn’t?

It is not my place or style to call people or dogs racist or any other such label, however it is my right and responsibility to protect myself and my son. I should be as uninterrupted in my conversations with nature as the next person, regardless of the colour of my skin.

Assuming that these dogs are indeed harmless, is it then perhaps a matter of them not being accustomed to seeing people like us at the forest? Is it that they do not know how to relate to black people?

I don’t know, all I KNOW is, no one should have to stress about taking a lovely walk at a beautiful forest with one’s family, or indeed by their lonesome just because the dogs may not like it.

I appeal to all those people who own and love dogs, to please understand that some of us are a bit weary of dogs friendly or otherwise.

Take a walk down the halls of history and you might see and perhaps understand where such reservations come from.

I don’t particularly dislike dogs, some of my friends own dogs, however I draw the line, when I am told that it is my fault that the dogs bark at me and my son. It is my responsibility to deal with my fears, I agree, however, dog owner it is your responsibility to keep your dog on a leash as the rules say you should.

We are all trying to get along, and South Africa is at its toddler stage of transformation, we should at the very least ask ourselves from time to time, how transformed are we as individuals, and how much do we respect each other’s rights and freedoms?

Is this transformation limited to schools, where as a matter of a rule, people need to be tolerant of one another, and is it also applying only to the human beings and not so much to the ‘best friends’ of the same humans.

I have a dream South Africa, that some day, people of the darker hue will be able to roam freely in public spaces whether indoors or outdoors without feeling like ‘The struggle continues’

I think it’s time we re- think our attitudes and mentality. This way we may consider that friendly is as friendly does. This I say in my humble opinion…

In Black and White

There are many things that people love talking about, reading about and even thinking about, and then there are those unpalatable topics, that are just too awkward to even contemplate… the kind that leave you filled with cognitive dissonance. The kind that you wish you could avoid at all cost but can’t. This, I dare say, is one of those times when such a topic cannot be avoided. Awkward as it may be.

Racism! Yes! I know, ‘why do you have to bring up this old subject?’ I hear you ask. Why can’t you let sleeping dogs lie? If only…
The answer is, ‘ because the dogs aren’t quite sleeping as we hope they are, they are out and about barking their heads off to their hearts content and nobody is restraining them since the consensus is ‘lets not wake the dogs’.

I live in Cape town, one of thee most beautiful cities I have ever had the opportunity to experience. Cape town is a paradox, it is full of contradictions that sometimes border on being surreal. For example, when you land at the Cape town International, the aerial view shows you the beautiful kaleidoscope of city lights and the marvelous skyline by night, you could hardly imagine what you will encounter on your way out of the airport , a few kilometers away from the ‘international feel , Squatter camps by day. These are the most informal housing you could think of. This is where the many working people of Cape town have their homes, raise their families and live a big part of their lives. It is a far cry from the beautiful, leafy suburbs and the extravagant restaurants and hotels
where they work and spend the other part of their lives.
As a resident of Cape town, I am everyday reminded of the gap between the haves and the have nots, the disparities in the distributions of resources and space. I am constantly reminded of the ‘differences’ between people of various races. I am bombarded by the silence around the topic of racism, yet everyday, I am given a glimpse of its nasty head and sometimes even nastier tail.

The thing about racism is that nobody wants to talk about it, nobody wants to subject themselves and others to the awkwardness that it creates, and it seems, nobody wants to acknowledge that it even exists except the ones who are forced to deal with it on a daily basis. And even they don’t want to talk about it.
These are the warriors who put on a brave face and just ‘grin and bear it’ with the hope that it will go away, and that it will get better with time. The trouble is this problem does not go away. It merely becomes strengthened by our denial.
I understand the temptation to just ‘let sleeping dogs lie’ however my life experience forces me to acknowledge that the dogs aren’t sleeping, for they are chasing many of us till kingdom come and there is no promise of them stopping. My theory with dogs is this, having grown up in rural transkei, where the dogs are aggressive and hardcore, one learns to deal with unfriendly dogs in a certain way. Don’t run…. square up and face them, this way they won’t give chase.. This ofcourse, is my own experience and cannot know what works for the next person. Thus, I choose to talk about this racism, because I don’t want to find myself running endlessly, only to discover that the dog has not teeth.

I am married to a European man from Finland, we live most part of our life in Cape Town, occasionally we visit the Eastern Cape where my family lives, or visit Finland where his family lives.
We are raising a two year old son in Woodstock , and he goes to a school which caters largely for the Muslim community. A remarkable school, with which we are very pleased .
Every once in a while we get the opportunity to meet with the parents of other children at the school, for school meetings. This is always an experience that leaves me speechless, for without fail I know that my husband and I will be sticking out like sore thumbs in that space and that somebody is bound to be staring, this ofcourse, is understandable, considering that we are a ‘mixed’ couple perhaps one of the youngest parents and who knows, maybe there’s something interesting about us that inspires the looks. What ever it is, I can accept that it is human nature to be curious when you are faced with something that you consider an anomaly a pink elephant kind of scenario. However, what I don’t understand, nor find acceptable is the fact that without fail, the fathers of the children will come to us and shake my husband’s hand and not even give a cursory glance in my direction. Time after time after time, meeting after meeting, the same procedure as the last time. The men will just not greet me. At first I thought, perhaps its a religious thing, but then I thought against that, for surely they must greet the women in their communities. Don’t get me wrong, I am not upset that ‘ people aren’t being nice to me’, that is not the point its the principle. In our world, my husband and I are equal, however, it appears that in the real world, ’some of us are deemed more equal than others’
This is unacceptable to both me and my husband, for needless to say, if they disrespect me by not greeting , they disrespect my husband by greeting him. Rather they not greet at all, to avoid this.
I have yet to call these individuals to task ,for I have been hoping the situation will change… it has not, and now, as I have reached the end of my tether, I find it necessary to address it. Sometimes the ‘benefit of the doubt’ is just another way of enabling people to continue with their ways. It is hardly a solution.

There are numerous other examples of how the racist attitudes and mentality of our people are exposed, be it in the convenient greeting of the white man and the standard overlooking of the black woman, or what a dear friend of our calls the ‘triangular look’. A look reserved for mixed couples with a child, one that is widely popular at shopping malls. These are but the subtle manifestations of racism, there are more blatant cases which I would rather not get into in the interest of self preservation and not laying it too thick. This topic, as we know, is already awkward and undesirable, no need to pontificate.

As the person who is exposed to all sorts of imaginable expressions of racism, and my husband as one who witnesses these moments, we find it necessary to bring the cold light of day to this phenomenon, that no one is too keen to tackle. By pretending that racism is a thing of the past we are merely slowing down the process of transformation, and the emancipation of our minds.

To all the scholarly inclined individuals, (you; who have the ‘license’ to do research:) I challenge you to watch television for atleast half a day, observe the commercial breaks and see how the media (advertising industry) portrays black people. The answer to this study, would touch on my next story of ‘the last straw that broke the camels back’ and set off this urgent need to talk and talk and talk more about racism. Advertisers rely on stereotypes, and there is an industry standard of what black people are like or perceived to be. I find it to be a mockery of black people as I know that the adverts are not even written by black people. It is said that ‘WHITE’ is aspirational, by a white person. If this does not offend our sensibilities, then I don’t know what will. I, for one, know that I’m far from the industry standard, and that’s standard! Hence my unpleasant experience at one of Cape towns recording studios.

If you walk into a pig sty, expect to experience some muddy moments, however elaborately disguised the pig sty is, it is still a pig sty. That’s my analysis on the South African advertising industry.

To those who could have used some blissful ignorance, forgive my coming hurtling in and turning your peaceful world a little bit inside out, and snatching you out of your silent reverie, it happens sometime.
I hope that there will be more public discourse about racism, the legacy of apartheid and the necessarily paradigm shift. We have freedom of expression, lets express!

And the word was ‘woman’

And the word was ‘WOMAN’

The month of August, ‘women’s month is widely known to be a month of many occasions, ceremonies and awards celebrating ‘Bafazi’ It is a month when women are given center stage in every sphere of society, in business, government, the education and more, to honour and celebrate the progress that women have made in the last few decades.

The UCT Graduate School of Business organised a conference for business women at least in Cape Town, to gather together under the banner of Women of Africa, power in unity conference. A number of esteemed Women were invited to share and tell their stories of success in business, the key note speaker was the distinguished Dr Mamphela Ramphele, chair of Circle Capital ventures, a truly remarkable role model to the nation.

Dr Ramphele as usual touched on a myriad of very important issues such as sexism, psychological liberation and transformed leadership.

She emphasised the importance of self respect, and how all of us can use respect of our own selves to negate disrespect by others.

Women by and large still experience sexism in the predominantly male work environments that they work in, this is as Dr Ramphele mentions in her book, ‘laying ghosts to rest’ one of the ghosts from the past that we need to call by name and confront. Women she said, need to speak out on issues that they deem to be of importance, they need to do away with the silences that exist in the domenstic, economical and the political arena. As women, we need to call our leaders, both men and women, to account and we need to be the change that we want to see.

We need to refrain from letting the ‘opponents’ to define the rules of the game, women cannot continue to emulate men in order to feel that they are empowered.

She suggests that the power of woman is in understanding of power as the capacity to act and enable others, we ought  to shy away from the zero sum notion of power that defines it as finite i.e. the more I give you, the less I have.

This indeed resonated with me on a very fundamental level.

Dr Ramphele left us with the question of what difference does having women leadership make?

I am a woman and an ardent supporter of women empowerment in every society, I believe in gender equality and consider myself to be a pro woman individual. By the same token, I celebrate the men in our society and believe that they too play a vital role in the advancement of women in our society. The men, I believe, need to be included in all dialogue pertaining to finding ways of gaining gender equality and making strides in having women empowered. Just as racism is not solely the problem of a victim, but an issue to be addressed by both victim and victimiser, one cannot expect to even attempt to address such deep issues by dealing only with the one side of the victim. The same, I feel, goes for women empowerment issues, and gender equality issues, only speaking to huge gatherings of women, is to me akin to preaching to the converted. There is a chance that men, may feel they are not expected to play any roles in the mission to improve matters for women. By only focusing on women, are we not inadvertently exonerating men and excluding them in the finding of solutions to the problems encountered by women in the male dominated spaces I must admit that having attended the conference at UCT GSB, I began to ask myself what it really means to be empowered as a woman in South Africa, is women empowerment, and gender equality mutually exclusive? Is it acceptable to invite my business partner and husband to a women’s conference? Are women empowerment conferences exclusively for women?

Have we come up we a women’s version of a ‘boy’s club?

Where do men fit into the agenda of having gender equality?

Is it an us and them scenario?

These and more, were some of the questions on my mind as I was sitting amoungst a most powerful group of women.

Considering that both my partner and I had attended the conference mainly for business purposes, we are in the business of collecting audio that can be packaged to be heard by any one who may not have been present at a particular event. Thus because of our commitment to the vision of our company, we found it fitting to invite both members of our company to the conference, one of them just happened to be a man. It seemed however, as if no men were expected to grace this occasion, out of 250 guests four of them were men. The assumption I believe was, this is a women’s conference, only women would attend. I was glad to have been part of this momentous occasion. There were such inspirational stories that can add much value to all who hear them. Vox pop Africa media hopes to package some of the stories to share with all.

I believe in equal opportunities and have thought extensively about what it means to be equal, how does one feel being equal? Do we need to have an other, to compare ourselves to in order to find our own sense of equality, in this case as women, should we compare ourselves to men in our quest for equality? Does empowerment of women equal disempowerment of men?

I’m not sure these questions can be easily answered, however, I find that the more I think about it , the more I realise that my sense of feeling and being equal does not have to depend on external factors, rather it comes from within me. It cannot be threatened by outside behaviour of others, if it is something that I own, and know.

In my world view things are not better or worse, they are simply different, men and women are different in various ways, and have not reason to want to be the same. There is room for both men and women in both public and private spheres. In the boardrooms and at home. We are all affected when it comes to issues of gender equality, therefore, there is a need for us all to work together to find the balance.

Halala Bafazi, Halala!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy women’s month

we salute you!!!!!

laughter and tears

In the last week alone, my husband-Mik, and I have been working intensively at tying up lose ends for Voxpop Africa media to be up and running, we have now reached a point where we can exhale and concentrate on our creativity. We went to listen and record a talk, by the esteemed Dr Mamphela Ramphele, co-founder of the black consciousness movement. She was launching her book called, ‘Laying Ghosts to Rest’, a book I am still reading and will hopefully share about in the future,

Dr Ramphele epitomises the mother figure of my people, she exudes confidence and has such grace and dignity in her manner. Even though she is slight of built, she gives the impression of having such strength and wisdom. It was an honour to even be in her presence, to listen to her views about our country.

In her talk, she spoke rather  critically about her beloved country, she acknowledges the lengths we have come since 1994 and has the honesty to speak out about the aspects of our government that need some attention. She speaks out about what transformation is and how it can be realised in our young democracy, she touched on what is currently happening in South Africa with the xenophobic attacks.

She appealed to all of us as civil society, to mobilise our communities and be active in bringing about change in our country.

She emphasised the importance of not sitting back and turning our gaze to the government with the expectations of them solving all the problems of this country.

It was a truly inspiring talk, bits of which we have recorded and will post on Voxpop Africa media website. 

Also in the past week, we went to the Chris Rock show at the Grand west casino, Cape Town.

It was phenomenal! Chris Rock is an opinion leader of great standing and has got one of the greatest talents of bringing important messages to people in the form of comedy

I had never before been to a live comedy show of that standard, it was quite an experience. It was interesting to note that even when Chris Rock made serious comments about serious matters, people seemed to be only too ready to laugh, I wondered if the messages were not lost amid the laughter.

I accept that in the South Africa I live in right now, it is highly unlikely that one would find a truly integrated audience for such a show, especially in Cape Town.

I was very keen to see what the turn out would reflect in term of demographics, I must say, I was not too surprised to see that there people who were there we obviously those who had spending power. It seems like even good things like an evening of comedy, are not necessarily available for the person who has less money. In Cape Town, black people are few and far in between when it comes to such events.

It makes me wonder, what one could do to make such experiences as I had, available to the people in our townships for instance.

I know people in Khayelitsha, Manenberg and Gugulethu love Chris Rock and many others like him, however the people of these areas might not get a chance to see him in person ever.

Its always a bitter sweet moment for me, whenever I happen to be at an event where I am in the minority, to be aware of how much it would mean for many other people like me to be a part of any such event.

I guess, as they say , we are all equal, but some of us are more equal than others.

That is a sad reality indeed. 
 

Xenophobia…is it?

Recently in South Africa, we have had our media full of talk of the Xenophobic attacks, and as I write this there seems to still be a long way to go before any point of calmness will be reached. Everyone, young and old, educated or not, man or woman, is talking about this current situation. I have for the last few weeks been trying to observe the situation, paying attention to the public discourse , which has been plenty and quite remarkable in its opposition to these attacks. Its interesting that the media is branding these attacks as Xenophobia, which they may be, however it appears to me that although this term is used, it is interesting to see that it seems to have taken or been given an Africa specific identity. By this I mean Xenophobia has been made to come across as an African problem. I am married to a foreigner who is European, even though when we think foreign we think of all people who come from outside this continent, however when I think of Xenophobia at this point, I think African, and not European.

My husband is technically a foreigner in South Africa, however a black foreigner is deemed to be more of a foreigner than a European foreigner. This I have always been aware of on some level, and have never discounted the history of South Africa, and it’s apartheid regime to be on some level, a contributor to the perception that some foreigners are more foreign than others. The colour of one’s skin in South Africa coupled with the accent with which you speak the Queen’s language, are strong determining factors of where one falls in the spectrum of being a foreigner. Needless to say that as soon as I heard in the news that there had been attacks on foreigners, I immediately thought that my husband was in some kind of danger and could even imagine that areas like Camps Bay, where I know for sure that there is a great percentage of foreigners owning homes, would be teeming with police officers to ensure security of the foreigners under attack.

This however, was not the case, after automatically being concerned for my husband’s safety I immediately thought about our brothers and sisters from the neighbouring countries, I knew that this is who they mean by foreigners.

The attacks on men and women from Tanzania, DRC, Somalia to name a few, were rife mainly in areas that are less privileged and areas that historically have been marginalized. Places that don’t have the privilege of having armed response or even bare necessities such as basic amenities.

These attacks were not taking place in Camps Bay, or the so-called up market areas of Cape Town, that makes me wonder whether the word Xenophobia isn’t somewhat too simplistic a word to attach to these attacks. Xenophobia as a phenomena is influencing these attacks, but I cant help think that there must be other underlying issues that need to be addressed. Issues of poverty for one, the prices of food have been steadily rising while the rate of unemployment has not been decreasing, this is bound to add an amount of pressure on an already highly pressured situation. It is possible for people to reach a breaking point if they feel as if things are not destined to improve.

A former MD of a radio station I once worked for, used to say that we are having a low intensity civil war bubbling under, I have to say that perhaps, he was fortuitous in his observation. There is a strong need for everyone to take a deeper look into what we are dealing with here, we need to improve our understanding of the poverty situation in our country.

After having followed the progress of the attacks via the media, for the first time, I had the opportunity to make contact with this ‘phenomenon’.

I happen to live in the city centre, area right behind home affairs, we live close enough to Parliament, and other places of political significance, so often we see a strong police presence in our area as a result of the diplomatic activities that take place around. Today however, there was a high visibility of the police, but no sign of diplomatic vehicles or the like, instead there was a mass of youth demonstrating and marching down Roeland Street, singing struggle songs and carrying a few banners saying ‘no to Xenophobia’. The young people were vibrant and charged as they were moving into Buitenkant Street, the sight of them and the sound of their voices was so powerful that it compelled one to go closer or run away depending on one’s belief about Toyi toyi and struggle songs. Needless to say that my husband and I ceased the opportunity, ran to fetch our equipment and followed the crowd, which completely swallowed us as soon as we caught up with them.

At first I got the impression that the group was made up of South African school going children as most of them were still in their various school uniform, however on close inspection, I noticed that some people were adults who seemed to represent the Non Governmental Sector, also apparently South African. The reason I assumed that the group was South African, was mainly because of the struggle songs that they were singing which were reminiscent of historic times in our country.

We proceeded to record the raised voices in song that were calling for an end to the violence, while capturing the people on camera as well. The energy was exhilarating, one could feel the vibrations that this group was making and for a moment I was filled with a sense of admiration for these young people who were doing something about these injustices.

I continued to walk with the crowd until I noticed that there seemed to be a change in the atmosphere as well as the energy of the crowd, where there had been a harmony of voices in song, suddenly there was a cacophony of sound as the group transformed from being youngsters in song, to loud voices raised in anger by a group of mostly men and some women. The angry voices were shouting ‘we don’t want South Africa’, ‘government has failed us’ ‘we want to go home’.

It took me a moment to get my bearings and as soon as the new voices took over, the atmosphere somewhat changed. Before, I had been aware of a familiar energy, an energy that I recognised from the days of the struggle a kind of inviting energy to stand together against an injustice. Suddenly I realised that there was a change in the voices started to feel a sense of volatility and frustration from around me. Initially there seemed to have been what appeared to be one march, a march against Xenophobic attack, but upon close inspection I noticed that the group was divided into two parts, I was now coming into contact with the disgruntled part of the march. The second group. This group consisted mainly of foreigners, who too, were highly charged and venting out their views, wanting to be heard, asking for the South African government to arrange for them to go back to their home countries. These men sounded, hurt, disappointed angry but not defeated.

They mentioned that they were displeased with the manner in which government has dealt with the situation, they were not satisfied with an apology and empty promises that had been made by government. It was clear that the safety of these individuals had been threatened more and more each day, and the people were fed up of seeing their businesses destroyed, homes vandalised and people killed.

I asked if they saw an end to this at all, a gentleman from Tanzania said no, because he felt that the trust between the attacked foreigners and South Africa had been broken.

I must admit, as I stood in the midst of these angry people, acutely conscious of the mounting anger of the people surrounding me, for a moment I felt what I thought was a hint of fear. I felt like any thing could happen at any moment, this I suppose stemmed from knowing I represented the face of the South Africans, the other.

It took me a moment to shake these thoughts and concentrate on what was taking place before me. I recorded more of the voices, giving opportunity to as many people to speak as possible. The sentiments were all the same, our neighbours were finding the conditions in South Africa unbearable, inhospitable and unpleasant so say the least, thus they were appealing to the government to help them go home.

Dr Mamphela Ramphele, in her talk about laying ghosts of the past to rest, two weeks ago, mentioned that the African continent has many wounds, there are many places that need healing, South Africa is still young after1994, it carries a heavy burden it inherited from our past. I found myself agreeing with her observation.

She also emphasised that the one way to lay ghosts to rest is by calling them by name.

Perhaps there are many things that need to be done to address the pain of the past, and maybe this is an opportunity for us as a nation and for Africa as a continent, to look inward, to find the problem areas, to name them, to face them ,to forgive and deal with them. Our government, private businesses , NGO’s and individuals must make a united stand towards helping raise our country and our continent. These attacks could be drawing our attention to the cry of the people, a cry to show us that a lot still needs to be done to bring healing. Poverty and unemployment have been serious problems in South Africa, perhaps now is the time that they will get another chance to be addressed in a more conscious way . I sincerely, do not believe that attacks on our neighbours will in any way help us solve these issues.

The whole set of photographs can be viewed from this link.