I used to be of the opinion that the day ‘the shift’ happens there would be thunderbolts and lightning, the earth would move and my whole world would be re-arranged. There would be debris all over and definitely some casualties left in its wake…
Well, I don’t quite know whether that indeed does happen or if it even has happened in some distant plain,but somehow I haven’t yet noticed any thing particularly different. Except that…
The Shift did happen and I think I may have told myself in my deepest slumbers about it and woke up the next morning unbeknown to me, to the dawn of a new day.
The memory of the realisation may lie somewhere deep in the recesses of my conscience, but indeed I felt that something great had definitely happened. It must have been the softest of all whispers to my ear, and the slightest of touches to my spirit, still it felt so definite.
The change can be so subtle that one may even miss it, until one notices one day, that the things that you held onto so strongly for dear life, are becoming a tad cumbersome to carry along, and the need to shake them off becomes surprising acute. You may start remembering the conversations you have had with others and of course with yourself, where you had declared hand over your heart that you would never do or be a certain thing. Proclaimed this and that and the other, thinking that you somehow had any knowledge of what the future holds and whether you would even be there to witness it.
One day you wake up and realise that your longest sworn enemy, has somewhat become just another person you used to know, and that the biggest grudges have evolved into a deep sense of compassion for the one they were once targeted at.
You look into your wardrobe to discover that some where along the line you traded in your much loved and celebrated stilettos for a pair of comfortable all stars and then you Know that something important has indeed taken place.
When one day you considered yourself a tried and tested technophobe and the next, you find yourself glued to the computer screen, on facebook, twitter, wordpress, google, and the like, then you wonder, what happened.
I haven’t wondered for long, because deep down inside, I have known, I was fully aware of this great change.
I think sometimes as people we hold ourselves hostage to the ideas that we have had about ourselves as well as other people and things in general. It seems like we never quite take the time to check up with ourselves just to find out where we are at this particular present moment.
We take for granted that we know what our favourite colour is, our favourite food, or even our dress size, until one day you wake up and discover that while you thought your favourite colour was red, it now is burnt orange, where Thai food was your idea of heaven, you discover that you actually like Nepalese food,
For some reason these realisations all come as quite a surprise as you ask yourself, ‘when did this happen? Where was I when it happened? And what does it even mean?
Fear no more, for in the questions you find the answers and a deep understanding sets in.
I have finally caught on to the dance that is my life,and I now realise that Life has been living through me as opposed to me living life. I thought I was the dancer, but now I know I am the dance, I am the song. The journey is the destination.
What a revelation!
So when the shift happened I must have woken up, from the dream or nightmare that I had considered to be my life. I opened my eyes and looked lovingly at even the things I had thought unacceptable. I found my self singing an old song that I’d been trying for so long to suppress, AND My goodness, I discovered that I do like the sound of my own singing voice.
So, what happened? I guess I must have lost or changed my mind! Either way, it feels great!