Summer of 2012

Click below for photographs of summer 2012 – the first ones with the new camera.

Summer of 2012

Life and its strange ways

It’s been quite a spell since I last ventured out here to this inner sense space- life has played out in such a way that much has been going on and much has been shared else where. It’s good to be back! For some reason when I haven’t been somewhere for a long time, on arriving at the moment of my return to the long unvisited place, a bitter sweetness engulfs me- I am reminded that there are reasons why we go to some places at certain times in our lives and not others. Thus there must have been a reason why I hadn’t come here for the last long while. Whatever it is, it’s all good.

As said a lot has happened in the last year and a bit, that one could write ad infinitum if attempting to tell the tale as a whole, so I will simply express my deepest gratitude for the events (good and ’bad’) that have been unfolding from last summer till now.

We have been blessed with another beautiful boy child who has come into our life with quite a bang. He has brought with him much for us to love, to learn and to develop and grow from. From the moment we heard the news of his coming, Life began to change in an enormous way – we were –as most expectant parents- incredibly excited to receive this precious gift, and thanked our lucky stars with every passing day that heralded his arrival. After what felt like a long wait, the day of his arrival finaly came and he was the picture of pure perfection. Nothing would have prepared us for all the surprises that he had in store for us.

We revelled in his presence and were overjoyed at the mere sight of his little body, so very excited to take him home with us.Little did we know that when the day comes to take him home , we would be told that he needed to remain in hospital for a little while longer. A heart ’defect’ would be detected that would begin a series of constant hospital visits for an indefinite period of time.

Before that fateful day of hearing the news of our baby’s heart condition, we had been breathing a sigh of relief for having seen the pregnancy and delivery through, we were celebrating the beginning of what we intended to be a new life as a family of four. Well…..

It was about to become a charmed life alright, we heard this report on how his heart will need extra help to assist it to its completion, the details were many, and the shock deep. However we rode this wave of emotion until it subsided and had to make peace with what life had brought to our doorstep in the beautiful, precious gift that is our son.

The universe conspired to help him and us through this new experience, as if by magic, everything fell into place, the doctors, surgeons, nurses and family rallied to come to his aid- everything operated smoothly from beginning to end. Our little one’s body allowed nature to nurture and start the healing process while waiting for the inevitable,albeit necessary heart operation. The most pressing of the defects self corrected to a point where there would never be a need for it to be fixed, what remained was the hole in the heart. This would be mended by means of an operation when the time was right.

Not a day went by without me thinking of that long awaited yet dreaded day, when they would proceed to do the operation. Mixed feelings of relief and fear intermingled, I looked forward to having our baby’s heart restored, yet I dreaded the prospects of having him away from us for any amount of time. My mind recoiled at the thoughts of operating rooms, knives, scars, the works. I ceased to imagine what would take place, for my imaginings only served to fill me with more and more feelings of trepidation….but alas, this was to be the necessary solution.

The universe being as compassionate as it is, offered us ways of coping and dealing with what was happening and what was to come- support from previously unknown places, people and sources, availed itself. By the time the operation date came, we were confident, confident that our boy would glide through the process with grace.

The day came, the operation happened and our son’s heart was mended. Another process of healing was about to take place, this proved to be yet another steep uphill experience that would lead us to the summit. It promised to be as long as it would be, and all we could do was take it one step at a time, focus only on what was at hand. The hours dragged and galloped at the same time after he was admitted to the ICU. Nothing else mattered on that day but the safety of our baby.

On our first visit to the ICU, as my eyes beheld the precious sight or our now vulnerable looking baby, the sight almost brought me to my knees, I was immobilized for what seemed like an eternity- my senses just couldn’t accept or absorb the look of what was going on before my eyes. It took me a minute or two to marshall my thoughts and pluck up all the courage within me to move myself forward towards the bed of our baby boy. It took yet another minute to convince myself that this is what the beginning of a healing process can look like. It is not always easy to digest, I had to pull myself together, remind myself that for some things in life, ’believing is seeing’ and perhaps for me that instance of my first visit to ICU was one of those things. The lessons of healing began to unfold.

After two days our brave warrior was transferred to another ward , where the rest of his recuperation would take place. Right before our very own eyes we witnessed him moving from having numerous tubes attached to him and all sorts of machine connected to his body, to being completely without tubes and breathing on his own, his heart beating solo to the new rhythm, all in less than a week.

What wonders these little ones are. I grew to have a lot of respect for their resilience, fighting spirit and ability to trust in the process. Mine was a steep learning curve during every day of the week our son spent in the hospital. No two days were the same, and neither was I after every single visit,a change took place

It’s been two days now since he came home,as I write this he’s lying on the couch shouting and laughing with his older brother who is five and has just lost his first tooth.

If someone would have told me ahead of time what the last week would have looked or felt like, I probably wouldn’t have believed them. And if I would have known what the future had in store when I first found out about the coming of Zondwa, I would have doubted my ability to survive an ordeal such as the one we’ve been through, but now I realise something new.

We are capable of doing so much more than we could ever imagine, we have the capacity to get through even the things we thought impossible, and only then when the situation presents itself do we see exactly what we are made of.

Human beings are powerful and the human spirit is made to triumph.

Beautiful Zondwa, I give thanks to you for coming into our lives, and teaching us the value of trusting in the process, teaching us how to lean on others for support when we most need it, and also for bringing us so much joy and love into our now ’family of four’. You are our Hero. I raise my fist to you and salute you.