Some light again



Winter in Finland is the longest season, one that is just not something a person gets used to. After all these years, I still haven’t yet wrapped my head around it. There’s just something about the night between November and say February, which makes it almost impossible for me to get accustomed to this kind of winter where days are unbelievable short and nights painfully long. The kind of winter where darkness does not have to mean night time, where the taking and fetching of kids from school happens while it’s still dark. To be sure, a unique and unusual winter to someone like me. Admittedly and thankfully there is more than one side to this season, which makes it a little easier to get through the months. There is the beautiful, enchanting and even breath-taking face of Finland covered in snow. The trees in the forest take on a new and magical quality, the vast open spaces become like the stuff of fairy tales and everything has the look of a wonderland in the dreamscape. This beautiful side has been my saving grace and the only way in which I could find a place within me to accept that the days and the months will take as long as they will take to unfold and that eventually the snow would melt. This patience and acceptance took me by surprise as for the last four winters of my living in these here parts, I have always had my eye keenly on the calendar, counting down the days until it would officially be declared springtime! This approach I must admit, has not stood me in good stead, quite the contrary if anything as with every passing month it felt like the goal posts kept shifting. When I worried about how long the winter was, it  turned out to have the same effect as waiting for a kettle to boil- the result is that it it just seems to take forever to happen!

I have to confess that even though word is that spring is in the air, I still don’t think I’ve bought into that idea fully , in fact, I still feel pretty much like staying in my cocoon (perhaps out of self preservation) until I see with my own eyes that indeed snow is melting or at least it stops actively falling. What I’ve also learned over the years is that the winter has a way of making ‘the milk of human kindness curdle in one’s veins’ to paraphrase Shakespeare. It just seems hard to be happy go lucky and charitable when the weather is not agreeable and so for many of us we’ve been mainly keeping to ourselves as a result of the impact winter has had on the psyche. It’s indeed very encouraging to begin to see signs of more life in the terraces of restaurants and the outdoors. I guess even the mere fact that I’m sitting in my writing spot at 18:15 and not needing to turn on any lights for my writing, is indicative of a change that is in the air, and similarly I’m finding my long lost ‘sunny disposition’ to be gradually re-surfacing after  months of what felt like forced hibernation and introspection ( nudge nudge, wink wink )

Don’t get me wrong, hibernation is a good thing, even a necessary thing, since it allows one to take inventory and to visit places within that otherwise might have gone unnoticed. I do appreciate the time I’ve had to go within and to spend some time ruminating about life’s issues, but truth be told I am so ready to get back into the thick of it and spring time could not come a moment sooner.

To show just how the winter has impacted my frame of mind, I now realise that I haven’t even been blogging since November which is  very telling. However to focus more on the brighter side of life, I have  noticed that I am beginning to need my slumber mask again to ward of the bright morning sun which seems to show up a lot earlier than before, a great sign, that the days of winter are indeed numbered.

As I’m writing this I am seeing from our kitchen window the remnants of piles of snow heaped on the side of the road, and my heart warms at the mere sight of the no longer pure white snow, because it heralds the dawn of a new season, a season of sun, new growth and green leaves all round. The mere thought of the currently leafless trees turning green in a few weeks or months does give me a new hope. I feel more optimistic, and am even feeling inspired to do many things that have otherwise been shelved during the winter months. If you live in these northern regions of Europe as I do, I bet you too are pretty happy to be seeing the back of winter. ‘Snow always melts’ as one character in a British comedy once pointed out, and it is indeed a truism both literally and figuratively, snow always melts, and darkness must turn to dawn.

I look forward to more unfolding of  spring time and pray that you who have perhaps also been under the influence of the winter malaise will also come out of your shells and join all of us who delight in even the slightest suggestion of a sunny moment. To those who have been enjoying beautiful summer days, I trust that you will ease into the next season with grace and peace.

On a parting note, never had I thought in my life that the weather would be a topic of discussion beyond small talk  until I moved to the Nordic region hehhhe, talk about a paradigm shift!

Happy Spring time to all and may the turn of the new season bring goodness, love and light to you and yours.

Peace and blessings



Who is this self?

I came out alone on my way to my tryst.
But who is this that follows me in the silent dark?
I move aside to avoid his presence but I escape him not.
He makes the dust rise from the earth with his swagger; he adds his loud voice to every word I utter.
He is my own little self, my Lord, he knows no shame; but I am ashamed to come to thy door in his company.
Tagore- Gitanjali

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Light playing!

The forest is my playground, the sky my canvas, light my paint and the kaleidoscope of colours, my reward…call it pure chance/luck or grace that is what leads me. I never know what I shall see or capture any given time we pay a visit to this my enchanted space. I never know what will be revealed. It depends on the colours, the beings that decide to show themselves, to share of their charm and delight in  their sparkle . Enchantment guaranteed.

I come to play here a lot. Sometimes alone, other times with company. Anytime I am here , magic happens. Whether crossing through  as but a means to an end or whether the forest itself is the destination, so long as there’s the desire in me and an intention to see, the light comes out to play.

Its a joy to witness natures beauty in all it’s ways… both in form and formless.
There’s so much life here…seen and unseen.
There’s peace here.
There is love here
I gravitate towards this playground of mine to  awaken and please the inner child and oh what joy it is to be able to do this.

Playing is for everyone and My wish is that more of us could witness the beauty in the ‘little things’  and marvel at life’s little gifts.

Blessings, light and love to you
I, Am

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The eternal student, that’s me, always have been and most likely always will be, be it on some official or unofficial basis. I enjoy learning new things and am forever looking for the lessons in situations, events, moments and indeed in life.

Since my younger years I have dreamed of learning to play one particular music instrument, the guitar. Why the guitar? No special reason, I just woke up one day feeling like I would like to learn that particular instrument.

As life would have it, I grew up in an environment not altogether conducive for such a dream, and pretty much accepted earlier on that perhaps this dream would have to wait for another time. I decided to put it on hold, while never allowing the love for it to fade, believing that a delay is not a denial. In the recesses of my mind it remained-a flicker.

Many years later I found myself ‘double-clicking’ again on my long forgotten dream. Then, I was no longer  footloose nor fancy free for I had advanced in years, what with having a family to raise and other ‘grownup’ matters to attend to 🙂 . It struck me as odd though that the dream of my younger self still tugged at strings of a forgotten place in my heart , but after a little contemplation, it occurred to me that I could rekindle the fire and realize my dream if I wished to. So I did.

It’s been a couple of months now since I found myself a teacher, since I started living the dream and I must say, the experience has added years to my life, has  opened me up in new ways I never imagined possible. Every day my guitar practicing reminds me that yes, every one of our dreams is valid, and that we are allowed to grant ourselves permission to say yes to them. No matter how outlandish, far fetched or odd they may seem. There must be a reason why your Higher Self awakened that desire within you, and yours is to honour it.

I have also discovered how to let go, how to allow myself to not know, how to feel silly and still have myself the best of times, and most importantly, I have learned how to listen to that silent voice within that speaks to me of my heart’s deepest desires, to listen with my ‘third ear’ and to obey.

My wish for myself and for us all is to never stop learning, growing, and embracing change. Dare to Dream BIG or small 😉 AND always Trust that voiceless voice within, it is the inner compass.

Light and Love

I, AM.

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As a little girl I grew up spending my days running around in the great outdoors, be it on grass, gravel, mud or sand without wearing any shoes. This was considered normal in my neck of the woods and almost all the children and even grown-ups tended to do it. Being at home and wearing shoes was considered to be rather the anomaly as opposed to the other way around.

If I remember correctly I had two or three pairs of shoes for specific occasions; one for school, another for going to town and a pair of ‘stay at home shoes’ for when the winter season set in. It wasn’t so much that we were of diminished means, rather than the fact that it was a matter of the lifestyle of those living in that area.

I grew up in a small village called ‘Ezingonyameni’ (The Lions), in a little town called Mt Fletcher, with my two brothers and sometimes 4 or five cousins depending on who was living with us at the time. We were all being raised and cared for by my grandmother, a not so uncommon occurrence in my culture.

Since life, for a child, revolves around playing, eating and sleeping, we never even noticed or cared that much about material things, least of all shoes. We were all too happy to be free to run, jump and play unencumbered. After years of walking barefoot, the feet adapt to the hardness of surfaces and develop a strong protective layer if I may, that makes going barefoot manageable. I never noticed this happening to me until years after when I’d relocated from my grandma’s and moved to a more urban area. It came to my attention one day that not all of my city friends were willing or able to walk on very hard or hot surfaces for too long without complaining. I reacted to this as a child would, I started to dislike the fact that the soles of my feet were so strong, and could endure so much more than my friends, I wanted to be more like my friends- to have more vulnerable, softer soles. It embarrassed me endlessly that I was different in this way.

It would take me years before I would learn from reading from books and speaking to spiritual friends of mine, about the value of walking barefoot. To learn about being grounded, about the nurturing energy of the earth and the energy centres at the soles of our feet. Decades later would my long term embarrassment turn to deep appreciation and wonder?

I would discover in my thirties just how much confidence is gained by being in direct contact with the earth, how rooted one becomes, how grounded. I would find myself looking for any and every opportunity to dig my feet deep into warm grass or earth just to feel connected.

I’ve rediscovered for myself that earth energy heals and that my healing started a long time ago- before I even knew it as healing. I now look back to my younger years and with deep appreciation and love, I cherish those experiences of being barefoot and happy. Most importantly it is said that every time you walk on the earth in bare feet, you help your Earth Star Chakra  to develop and as it does, so the seeds of your divine possibilities also grow. This, is of course very good news!

I give thanks and bow to the Divine Mother Earth for holding us all in her loving embrace and for keeping us ROOTED.


Light and Love

I, AM.

‘I am Light’

Occasionally a song shows up in my life almost at random it may seem, and this song gradually carves a space for itself in my daily routine, becoming a kind of soundtrack. These are the kind of songs I like. They speak to me. Oftentimes I recognize the blessing and the message they bring with them. I feel the resonance.

Here is such a song by the lovely India Arie, ‘I am light’, and this one really speaks to me 🙂

I thought to share it !

Nocturnal musings

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Sometimes I find myself unable to stop thinking about something, that I lie awake at night until I get the matter addressed heheeeheee

This is one of those nights and one of those times… I felt the need to share this 🙂
For the past 3 weeks,I’ve had these two quotes continuously on my mind and have remained with me. They have informed the decisions I’ve taken and guided the moves I’ve made. I’m eternally grateful to Patanjali and to Thoreau for these words…

Patanjali… on inspiration

‘When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, All your thoughts break their bonds. Your mind transcends limitations. Your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.

AND Thoreau… on freedom

‘If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams and endeavours to live the life he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. He will put some things behind, will pass an invisible boundary; new, universal and more liberal laws will begin to establish themselves around and within him, or the old laws will be expanded and interpreted in his favour in a more liberal sense. And he will live with the license of a higher order of beings’

So I thought to share these words in the hope that they will inspire another reader as much as they have inspired me.
Now I think its time to get some shut eye heheeeheee.

Light and Love
I, Am